pre-departure

20081224
0330h
pre-departure area,
ninoy aquino international airport -- terminal 3, manila


I am so pleased when i arrived early at the airport today. The lines were long but everything is smooth and okay.ü

(Boink...the cart of the woman behind me hit my oh-so-beautiful legs and she is not aware of it. Sigh. Patience.)

Coming home to my parents house is really exciting but leaving mr big behind is driving me...

(boink...i am trying to ignore her and keep my self from going mad this early in the morning)

Anyway, as i was saying, leaving mr big behind is driving me crazy.he is 29 i know but sometimes,

(boink...boink...boink...more hitting on my legs.one more ugly duckling...while i could still contain my precious-bloggable feelings)

he acts like he's 12 especially when im not at 100m radius.ü

(boink.that's it.i went...hey, with matching you-have-a-problem-with-my-oh-so-beautiful-legs-or-what? kind of look)

but he needs this time away from me more than i need it.

(im about to lose my patience and the woman behind me will hit the glass wall when she bumps her god knows from where baggage on my legs again!!!

Well ofcourse i am not as bad tempered as my mom...
anymore...
thanks to mr big...)

Its really amazing how i could feel two separate emotions at a time. Is it still because of women's multitasking skill? I love being a woman.ü

vacation mode

Hello internets!

I am sooooooooooo into the holidays and i can't think of anything to write anymore. I felt like all the singing and dancing ang partying commitments I had for this december has drained up all the energy i have left in me. I have to charge up for the HOLIDAYS!!!!

I am going to my parent's house on the 24th and a super hectic schedule is coming up. I'll be back in manila on january 1st (night). We will also be having a hukas lalaw a.k.a. babang luksa (it's how we celebrate the end or our grief over someones death in some parts of the philippines) and its really exciting since my cousins will be coming over.

Anyhoo...I would like to wish everyone a very happy Christmas and a blessed new year!!!

Hugs and kisses...Ü

xoxox

Finally

Here is the Mr 3X story...Ü



I knew this was coming.

I woke up feeling bad. It was raining. Oh no...here comes the colder days of the year. Sigh. I remember feeling the cold BER winds touching my skin on my way home the other night and i can't help but be sad about it.

I called him. I already forgot how many times i heard the ringback tone switch to a busy tone. I gave up. I took a shower thinking of how my day would be. I've been worried these past few weeks and this is the longest two weeks of my life. It's torture. I really hope it would be better.

At the office i received a message from him complaining that he was soaked up in rainwater on his way to the office and that he hated it. That's it. After a million missed calls that's all he could say. That was it. And i was beginning to feel that there were butterflies in my stomach. Something must be really wrong.

Ringback tones to busy tones. Lots of them. Again...and again...and again.
No answer.

Finally a text message. He said he was busy, he just needed time to think and that he'd call me when he gets home.

Think about what? That I also don't know. Butterfies in the stomach. Not again. Fear is all over me. I'm beginning to dislike the things that come to my mind. I have to prepare myself. He left me for another girl but I accepted him with open arms when he came back. I was very, very happy. Now he's starting to do it all over again. Or so I think. I don't know what to feel. Should I get mad? Should I cry a river? Do I need to beg for him to stay? Do I have to tell him that I need him? Or should I give up?

This is it. A few more minutes and it would be over. Again.

I felt him being cold about us.
He's sad for reasons he can't explain...
for the things he can't do...
and for a person he can't be with..and that person is not me.

Yes, it's because of that same girl that drove me crazy and caused me to cry until i felt i couldn't breathe.

Yes. I am stupid.

Yes. I love him despite all that.

And yes, it's about to end, again, in a few more minutes.

I tried my best.
I gave it my all...my best shot...
But still it has to come to an end.
And yes...in just a few more minutes.


Rrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnngggggg !!!!

My phone.

Sigh.

Finally.Ü



_Beautiful Stranger, some time in the past.

This is it.

Today is one big day for me. We will be having our department christmas party!!(clap!clap!clap!) And why will this be a big day for ME? Because, I will be singing with a band..haha! Not that I sound really nice, but yeah I sing good enough (or maybe they couldn't convince the better singers to sing for them Ü)

I love singing and I dream that one day I would be able to perform in something really big like on our national television or something. However, it's close to impossible since I'm working for a semiconductor company.

(what the hell is that? something to deal with the microchips...sigh)
(yes, I am an ENGINEER -- who loves hello kitty)

(and yes I am a LADY)

Well you see, the likes of the company I am working for is situated on remote areas (okay, maybe not that remote). Must not be too crowded, and not on the city itself. Bottomline, it's quite far from the big city, big crowd and my big dream.

(especially when you are surrounded with electronic tools, equipments, machines, etc. Not so helpful for my stardom. hahaha!)

But I am not giving up.
One day, that big dream will come true.
FOr now, I have to be very prepared for my set tonight.

Bye for now.

Happy weekend internets!
Ü

Mr CHIPS

hello Philippines! hello world!Ü
(hehe!)

I have this cute story and i don't know how my boyfriend will react to this.
(He's a little sensitive about it.)
(Or I am sensitive about my guy's past relationships that I think they are too.)

It's not a "relationship" anyway. And it happend long before my boyfriend, Mr BIG (why Mr BIG? Because he's a huge man...Ü) looked at each other in a malicious way.Hahaha.

And here it goes.

I have this guy friend I met here at the office. Let's call him Mr CHIPS.
We hang out. He's cute and funny and all that. He plays the guitar (i love men who could play an instrument...so amazing). I even imagined he was wearing glasses (because when I was little I imagined that my prince charming would be wearing eye glasses and I'm holding on to that). I liked him and I think he likes me too.

Soooooooooo exciting.

There was just a little problem that time.
I HAD I BOYFRIEND.
(yes the great mister triple ex boyfriend, the story of which i still can't find time (and the mood) to write about)

How is that? (eyes rolling)
At some point I was thinking of breaking up him because I fancied Mr CHIPS a lot.
But I didn't. I was in love with Mr 3X. Perhaps I was just missing him and Mr CHIPS was just around the corner.

Then Mr CHIPS told my bff and I he was going out with someone and she became his girlfriend.

hurt.hurt.hurt.

Then Mr 3X broke up with me.

More hurt.

I think i subconciously waited for him ( I never admitted that I actually was). I just knew their relationship wouldn't last that long. However it was long enough for me to give it up. And maybe because I met Mr BIG.

A few months later, they broke up.

Much more hurt.
I felt like breaking up with Mr BIG. But would it be worth it?

Perhaps we are just not meant to be together. The whole more-than-just-friends idea is not meant to happen.
And I have to leave it that way.
I have to give up.

Especially that he is with someone right now. Or so we think (me and bff).
I'm curious but I didn't want to ask.
I'd like to keep the littlest hope in me, that someday...

But Mr BIG told me about it.
And he said he was sure.

And that's the end of it.