lunch out

I was along a familiar sidewalk. The breeze is cool. My hair smells fresh. I reached the corner store with glass walls, I looked at my reflection and I felt good. Not much about the dress. Perhaps the confidence has changed the aura.

When I got to the place, I saw my friends waving at me with much excitement and anticipation. I signaled for them to wait for a while. I stayed outside and phoned my husband. The kids are good, dinner will be fine and everything is okay. I will have a great night.

So I walked in. The food was great. Coping up with the things we missed about each other was even better. I am having a great laugh when I heard someone from behind me calling my name. At first I hesitated but I heard it again.

I turned and felt a little dizzy. Everything was a blur. I had to close my eyes and open them little by little so I wouldn't pass out. I tried to focus a little on the person but I couldn't figure out who he was. I closed my eyes again and looked at the same person. He was smiling at me.

"How's it going? I need it within the day.", he said and left.

I looked back to my friends and found that I wasn't at the resaurant anymore. I saw a monitor right in front of me, my old bag right beside it, a box of tissue and my phone on the other side. I accidentally moved the mouse and the screensaver went out. The monitor showed an unfinished report. I felt my heart pound faster than usual. I scanned for a clock. 4:37pm.

Crap.

Moral lesson: don't eat too much for lunch. A few idle seconds may turn into moments like this.

110 lbs (going higher...)

If there's one great thing Big and i luuurve to do together, it would be eating.

(And sleeping. Sometimes eat then sleep, some other times sleep then eat, you know...wehehehe.)

Anyway, during weekends, we skip breakfast because:
1. We wake up late.
2. We still love to stay in bed upon waking up...
3. We're lazy to make breakfast.

So, we go with eating early lunch. His mom cooks a lot for lunch on purpose to save on cooking again for dinner. And mr big doesn.t like the idea. He wants his food different for each meal...well most of the time. And the most famous conversation begins.

Big: wat are we gonna have for dinner?

Me: i thought we still have food from lunch?we can eat it.
(With a smile.)

B: i don't like the food.

M: i thought you love ___ (the food)?!

B: well not anymore?hehe.joke.i want something different.

M: okay. (eyes rolling). So wat are we gonna have? We can have pizza or burgers delivered.
(i don't cook.sigh.)

B: ok.pizza.

(after a while...)

B: on second thought, we can have the leftovers...they might get spoiled tomorrow.ü

M: huh? (and gives him a what's-with-the-mind-changing-every-five-minutes kind of look) ok.

After dinner...

B: what number do i call?

M: huh?

B: for the pizza delivery..(smiles)..remember?

Whew!

pre-departure

20081224
0330h
pre-departure area,
ninoy aquino international airport -- terminal 3, manila


I am so pleased when i arrived early at the airport today. The lines were long but everything is smooth and okay.ü

(Boink...the cart of the woman behind me hit my oh-so-beautiful legs and she is not aware of it. Sigh. Patience.)

Coming home to my parents house is really exciting but leaving mr big behind is driving me...

(boink...i am trying to ignore her and keep my self from going mad this early in the morning)

Anyway, as i was saying, leaving mr big behind is driving me crazy.he is 29 i know but sometimes,

(boink...boink...boink...more hitting on my legs.one more ugly duckling...while i could still contain my precious-bloggable feelings)

he acts like he's 12 especially when im not at 100m radius.ü

(boink.that's it.i went...hey, with matching you-have-a-problem-with-my-oh-so-beautiful-legs-or-what? kind of look)

but he needs this time away from me more than i need it.

(im about to lose my patience and the woman behind me will hit the glass wall when she bumps her god knows from where baggage on my legs again!!!

Well ofcourse i am not as bad tempered as my mom...
anymore...
thanks to mr big...)

Its really amazing how i could feel two separate emotions at a time. Is it still because of women's multitasking skill? I love being a woman.ü

vacation mode

Hello internets!

I am sooooooooooo into the holidays and i can't think of anything to write anymore. I felt like all the singing and dancing ang partying commitments I had for this december has drained up all the energy i have left in me. I have to charge up for the HOLIDAYS!!!!

I am going to my parent's house on the 24th and a super hectic schedule is coming up. I'll be back in manila on january 1st (night). We will also be having a hukas lalaw a.k.a. babang luksa (it's how we celebrate the end or our grief over someones death in some parts of the philippines) and its really exciting since my cousins will be coming over.

Anyhoo...I would like to wish everyone a very happy Christmas and a blessed new year!!!

Hugs and kisses...Ü

xoxox

Finally

Here is the Mr 3X story...Ü



I knew this was coming.

I woke up feeling bad. It was raining. Oh no...here comes the colder days of the year. Sigh. I remember feeling the cold BER winds touching my skin on my way home the other night and i can't help but be sad about it.

I called him. I already forgot how many times i heard the ringback tone switch to a busy tone. I gave up. I took a shower thinking of how my day would be. I've been worried these past few weeks and this is the longest two weeks of my life. It's torture. I really hope it would be better.

At the office i received a message from him complaining that he was soaked up in rainwater on his way to the office and that he hated it. That's it. After a million missed calls that's all he could say. That was it. And i was beginning to feel that there were butterflies in my stomach. Something must be really wrong.

Ringback tones to busy tones. Lots of them. Again...and again...and again.
No answer.

Finally a text message. He said he was busy, he just needed time to think and that he'd call me when he gets home.

Think about what? That I also don't know. Butterfies in the stomach. Not again. Fear is all over me. I'm beginning to dislike the things that come to my mind. I have to prepare myself. He left me for another girl but I accepted him with open arms when he came back. I was very, very happy. Now he's starting to do it all over again. Or so I think. I don't know what to feel. Should I get mad? Should I cry a river? Do I need to beg for him to stay? Do I have to tell him that I need him? Or should I give up?

This is it. A few more minutes and it would be over. Again.

I felt him being cold about us.
He's sad for reasons he can't explain...
for the things he can't do...
and for a person he can't be with..and that person is not me.

Yes, it's because of that same girl that drove me crazy and caused me to cry until i felt i couldn't breathe.

Yes. I am stupid.

Yes. I love him despite all that.

And yes, it's about to end, again, in a few more minutes.

I tried my best.
I gave it my all...my best shot...
But still it has to come to an end.
And yes...in just a few more minutes.


Rrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnngggggg !!!!

My phone.

Sigh.

Finally.Ü



_Beautiful Stranger, some time in the past.