Melancholy Phlegmatic

Before I forget...I came across this:

http://www.oneishy.com/personality/

and it said that i am a Melancholy Phlegmatic person.

The Melancholy's Emotions:
Deep and thoughtfully; Analytical; Serious and purposeful; Genius prone; Talented and creative; Artistic or musical; Philosophical and poetic; appreciative of beauty; Sensitive to others; Self-sacrificing; Conscientious; Idealistic

The Melancholy As A Parent:
Sets high standards; Wants everything done right; Keeps home in good order; Picks up after children; Sacrifices own will for others; Encourages scholarship and talent

The Melancholy As a Friend:
Makes friends cautiously; Content to stay in background; Avoids causing attention; Faithful and devoted; Will listen to complaints; Can solve other's problems; Deep concern for other people; Moved to tears with compassion; Seeks ideal mate

The Melancholy At Work:
Schedule oriented; Perfectionist, high standards; Detail conscious; Persistent and thorough;
Orderly and organized; Neat and tidy; Economical; Sees the problems; Finds creative solutions;
Needs to finish what he starts; Likes charts, graphs, figures, lists

The Phlegmatic's Emotions:
Low-key personality; Easygoing and relaxed; Calm, cool and collected; Patient well balanced; Consistent life; Quiet but witty; Sympathetic and kind; Keeps emotions hidden; Happily reconciled to life; All-purpose person

The Phlegmatic As A Parent
Makes a good parent; Takes time for the children; Is not in a hurry; Can take the good with the bad; Doesn't get upset easily

The Phlegmatic As a Friend
Easy to get along with; Pleasant and enjoyable; Inoffensive; Good listener; Dry sense of humor;
Enjoys watching people; Has many friends; Has compassion and concern

The Phlegmatic At Work
Competent and steady; Peaceful and agreeable; Has administrative ability; Mediates problems;
Avoids conflicts; Good under pressure; Finds the easy way


At Some points the two are quite contradicting but according to that site, I'm a little of both (well more on melancholy). And I hope I could say something else...I'm really having a headache. My comments on this...coming soon...Ü

headaches

Hello internets...its benn a while...yes i know...but I've been catching up with stephenie meyers twilight series. And that's really a lot to read considering my not so beautiful and freaking job as a gorgeous engineer...(wehehehe).Ü

Also, the loading (read: recession is not really that alarming anymore) is quite normal so a lot of work to do.Ü

Don't miss american idol...Ü

I'll be posting a cute one when my headache is gone. I miss clever girl and barbie!hehehe

American Idol

i believe

i believe in the goodness of the world.
i believe it could be expressed as a number or a pie chart.
i would like to compare it to a pie chart.

the whole pie is the world.
the pie slices are the parts that people own, have or posses (whatever it is).
the rich people have bigger slices.
the poor ones have smaller slices.

i belong to the average ones.
and i dont complain.

yes in would be nicer to have all the designer clothes i wish for.
all the shoes....
bags...
jewelry...

(sigh....women ☺)

however...there is only one world, therefore one pie.
owning a much bigger part of the pie would mean that someone else would have to sacrifice his part.
it would be okay if it would be the rich people.
what about if it would be the less fortunate ones?

so i wouldn't complain that i have just enough.
i even think the world was created in that way.
that there would be enough for everyone.

the other parts of the pie is not for me.
its for someone else.
just like saving part of the food for your loved ones.

toys and forget-me-not

When I was given the chance to get to know Big better (we were in the same group of friends in the office but we had our own lives back then), i liked him. He's 5 yrs older than me and I think I found the Kuya i've been longing to have in him. He's matured. He has been through alot in this real world that is. He enjoys a lot of things, most of them I enjoy doing myself.

Well that's the positive side. There are two sides of a coin, so the kuya in him also includes having someone to criticize your outfit (not that i take his comments by heart. I believe in my sense of fashion.hehehe) and someone who constantly bullies and treats you as a kid most of the time (these really i hate).

However, there are things that i only knew when we were officially together. Like his obsession for toys.

From time to time the toys varies from cars to techy stuffs but most of the time, they are just the usual toys (a.k.a. Toys for big boys...action figures..toys).

While we were waiting for the last full show of watchmen last week, we (as usual) dropped by the toy stores.

M: hahaha...hurry...look at that woman she is so *something*..

B: oh?where? (not looking away from the toys)

M: oh...never mind. She's out of sight.

B: wow these stuff are really great!you can do a lot of things with them.

(and i take a look at the toys...validating his comment.)

B: (looks at me and suddenly becomes aware of my presence) you were saying something ngay? (he calls me ngangay)

In times like this, do i really have to answer back? Maybe. But perhaps i have to take a few deep breaths -- slow and easy, smile and attack...oh i mean, answer.

lunch out

I was along a familiar sidewalk. The breeze is cool. My hair smells fresh. I reached the corner store with glass walls, I looked at my reflection and I felt good. Not much about the dress. Perhaps the confidence has changed the aura.

When I got to the place, I saw my friends waving at me with much excitement and anticipation. I signaled for them to wait for a while. I stayed outside and phoned my husband. The kids are good, dinner will be fine and everything is okay. I will have a great night.

So I walked in. The food was great. Coping up with the things we missed about each other was even better. I am having a great laugh when I heard someone from behind me calling my name. At first I hesitated but I heard it again.

I turned and felt a little dizzy. Everything was a blur. I had to close my eyes and open them little by little so I wouldn't pass out. I tried to focus a little on the person but I couldn't figure out who he was. I closed my eyes again and looked at the same person. He was smiling at me.

"How's it going? I need it within the day.", he said and left.

I looked back to my friends and found that I wasn't at the resaurant anymore. I saw a monitor right in front of me, my old bag right beside it, a box of tissue and my phone on the other side. I accidentally moved the mouse and the screensaver went out. The monitor showed an unfinished report. I felt my heart pound faster than usual. I scanned for a clock. 4:37pm.

Crap.

Moral lesson: don't eat too much for lunch. A few idle seconds may turn into moments like this.

110 lbs (going higher...)

If there's one great thing Big and i luuurve to do together, it would be eating.

(And sleeping. Sometimes eat then sleep, some other times sleep then eat, you know...wehehehe.)

Anyway, during weekends, we skip breakfast because:
1. We wake up late.
2. We still love to stay in bed upon waking up...
3. We're lazy to make breakfast.

So, we go with eating early lunch. His mom cooks a lot for lunch on purpose to save on cooking again for dinner. And mr big doesn.t like the idea. He wants his food different for each meal...well most of the time. And the most famous conversation begins.

Big: wat are we gonna have for dinner?

Me: i thought we still have food from lunch?we can eat it.
(With a smile.)

B: i don't like the food.

M: i thought you love ___ (the food)?!

B: well not anymore?hehe.joke.i want something different.

M: okay. (eyes rolling). So wat are we gonna have? We can have pizza or burgers delivered.
(i don't cook.sigh.)

B: ok.pizza.

(after a while...)

B: on second thought, we can have the leftovers...they might get spoiled tomorrow.ü

M: huh? (and gives him a what's-with-the-mind-changing-every-five-minutes kind of look) ok.

After dinner...

B: what number do i call?

M: huh?

B: for the pizza delivery..(smiles)..remember?

Whew!

pre-departure

20081224
0330h
pre-departure area,
ninoy aquino international airport -- terminal 3, manila


I am so pleased when i arrived early at the airport today. The lines were long but everything is smooth and okay.ü

(Boink...the cart of the woman behind me hit my oh-so-beautiful legs and she is not aware of it. Sigh. Patience.)

Coming home to my parents house is really exciting but leaving mr big behind is driving me...

(boink...i am trying to ignore her and keep my self from going mad this early in the morning)

Anyway, as i was saying, leaving mr big behind is driving me crazy.he is 29 i know but sometimes,

(boink...boink...boink...more hitting on my legs.one more ugly duckling...while i could still contain my precious-bloggable feelings)

he acts like he's 12 especially when im not at 100m radius.ü

(boink.that's it.i went...hey, with matching you-have-a-problem-with-my-oh-so-beautiful-legs-or-what? kind of look)

but he needs this time away from me more than i need it.

(im about to lose my patience and the woman behind me will hit the glass wall when she bumps her god knows from where baggage on my legs again!!!

Well ofcourse i am not as bad tempered as my mom...
anymore...
thanks to mr big...)

Its really amazing how i could feel two separate emotions at a time. Is it still because of women's multitasking skill? I love being a woman.ü

vacation mode

Hello internets!

I am sooooooooooo into the holidays and i can't think of anything to write anymore. I felt like all the singing and dancing ang partying commitments I had for this december has drained up all the energy i have left in me. I have to charge up for the HOLIDAYS!!!!

I am going to my parent's house on the 24th and a super hectic schedule is coming up. I'll be back in manila on january 1st (night). We will also be having a hukas lalaw a.k.a. babang luksa (it's how we celebrate the end or our grief over someones death in some parts of the philippines) and its really exciting since my cousins will be coming over.

Anyhoo...I would like to wish everyone a very happy Christmas and a blessed new year!!!

Hugs and kisses...Ü

xoxox

Finally

Here is the Mr 3X story...Ü



I knew this was coming.

I woke up feeling bad. It was raining. Oh no...here comes the colder days of the year. Sigh. I remember feeling the cold BER winds touching my skin on my way home the other night and i can't help but be sad about it.

I called him. I already forgot how many times i heard the ringback tone switch to a busy tone. I gave up. I took a shower thinking of how my day would be. I've been worried these past few weeks and this is the longest two weeks of my life. It's torture. I really hope it would be better.

At the office i received a message from him complaining that he was soaked up in rainwater on his way to the office and that he hated it. That's it. After a million missed calls that's all he could say. That was it. And i was beginning to feel that there were butterflies in my stomach. Something must be really wrong.

Ringback tones to busy tones. Lots of them. Again...and again...and again.
No answer.

Finally a text message. He said he was busy, he just needed time to think and that he'd call me when he gets home.

Think about what? That I also don't know. Butterfies in the stomach. Not again. Fear is all over me. I'm beginning to dislike the things that come to my mind. I have to prepare myself. He left me for another girl but I accepted him with open arms when he came back. I was very, very happy. Now he's starting to do it all over again. Or so I think. I don't know what to feel. Should I get mad? Should I cry a river? Do I need to beg for him to stay? Do I have to tell him that I need him? Or should I give up?

This is it. A few more minutes and it would be over. Again.

I felt him being cold about us.
He's sad for reasons he can't explain...
for the things he can't do...
and for a person he can't be with..and that person is not me.

Yes, it's because of that same girl that drove me crazy and caused me to cry until i felt i couldn't breathe.

Yes. I am stupid.

Yes. I love him despite all that.

And yes, it's about to end, again, in a few more minutes.

I tried my best.
I gave it my all...my best shot...
But still it has to come to an end.
And yes...in just a few more minutes.


Rrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnngggggg !!!!

My phone.

Sigh.

Finally.Ü



_Beautiful Stranger, some time in the past.

This is it.

Today is one big day for me. We will be having our department christmas party!!(clap!clap!clap!) And why will this be a big day for ME? Because, I will be singing with a band..haha! Not that I sound really nice, but yeah I sing good enough (or maybe they couldn't convince the better singers to sing for them Ü)

I love singing and I dream that one day I would be able to perform in something really big like on our national television or something. However, it's close to impossible since I'm working for a semiconductor company.

(what the hell is that? something to deal with the microchips...sigh)
(yes, I am an ENGINEER -- who loves hello kitty)

(and yes I am a LADY)

Well you see, the likes of the company I am working for is situated on remote areas (okay, maybe not that remote). Must not be too crowded, and not on the city itself. Bottomline, it's quite far from the big city, big crowd and my big dream.

(especially when you are surrounded with electronic tools, equipments, machines, etc. Not so helpful for my stardom. hahaha!)

But I am not giving up.
One day, that big dream will come true.
FOr now, I have to be very prepared for my set tonight.

Bye for now.

Happy weekend internets!
Ü

Mr CHIPS

hello Philippines! hello world!Ü
(hehe!)

I have this cute story and i don't know how my boyfriend will react to this.
(He's a little sensitive about it.)
(Or I am sensitive about my guy's past relationships that I think they are too.)

It's not a "relationship" anyway. And it happend long before my boyfriend, Mr BIG (why Mr BIG? Because he's a huge man...Ü) looked at each other in a malicious way.Hahaha.

And here it goes.

I have this guy friend I met here at the office. Let's call him Mr CHIPS.
We hang out. He's cute and funny and all that. He plays the guitar (i love men who could play an instrument...so amazing). I even imagined he was wearing glasses (because when I was little I imagined that my prince charming would be wearing eye glasses and I'm holding on to that). I liked him and I think he likes me too.

Soooooooooo exciting.

There was just a little problem that time.
I HAD I BOYFRIEND.
(yes the great mister triple ex boyfriend, the story of which i still can't find time (and the mood) to write about)

How is that? (eyes rolling)
At some point I was thinking of breaking up him because I fancied Mr CHIPS a lot.
But I didn't. I was in love with Mr 3X. Perhaps I was just missing him and Mr CHIPS was just around the corner.

Then Mr CHIPS told my bff and I he was going out with someone and she became his girlfriend.

hurt.hurt.hurt.

Then Mr 3X broke up with me.

More hurt.

I think i subconciously waited for him ( I never admitted that I actually was). I just knew their relationship wouldn't last that long. However it was long enough for me to give it up. And maybe because I met Mr BIG.

A few months later, they broke up.

Much more hurt.
I felt like breaking up with Mr BIG. But would it be worth it?

Perhaps we are just not meant to be together. The whole more-than-just-friends idea is not meant to happen.
And I have to leave it that way.
I have to give up.

Especially that he is with someone right now. Or so we think (me and bff).
I'm curious but I didn't want to ask.
I'd like to keep the littlest hope in me, that someday...

But Mr BIG told me about it.
And he said he was sure.

And that's the end of it.

x factor

Ü

I am so excited about our Christmas party this coming friday, November 28, 2008.

(Yes I know it's too early...But all the other dates are quite occupied already...quite a number of parties to attend. Sigh.)

Well, we will be having lechon (wow! talk about cholesterol! hahaha!), and many more. It's actually a swimming party with lots of food. I'm one of the organizers and i really hope everything will be alright (especially the budget... sigh.)

Yes I am excited about everything in the party...the place...I think this is one of the first places where my current boyfriend started flirting on me (that he cannot deny. chin up.)

However, there is this tiny little something that's bothering me.
And yes it's that big ex-factor. sigh. Also known as my triple X boyfriend.

(Why triple X? Well that would be a long story I've already told a million times and people just can't get over the issue. I guess I'll just post a separate blog for that. For now, he's Mr. 3X.)

Well, Nov 28 is his birthday. And I just don't feel like enjoying on that day because I feel like when I do so, It would be like celebrating his birthday.

(Stupid but yes that's how I feel)
And I hate the feeling.
(Ofcourse I should hate anything that has to do with him. I mean, after everything? Sigh.
Oh, I just can't wait to blog about him.)

Out There

Out There
Soulmate07



I wish I’m out in the sun.
Walking barefoot.
Almost tasting the cold dew.
Letting the sun warm the coldness of my being.

I wish I’m dancing in the rain.
Naked.
Feeling the softness of bitter caress.
Allowing the rain to wash over the emptiness

I wish I’m sleeping in my bed
Drowned in pillows.
Catching my breath.
Taking in the absurdity of false closure.

I wish I’m anywhere but here.
Wherever.
Where I can’t be with you.
Someplace I can’t look to hate you.

And love you still.


My bff, emma jean, made this for me.
That time, I needed this (that was a year ago).
And I still love it.

cold

Is it the gentle breeze or my soft bed;
my fluffy pillows or my warm blanket;
the cold morning water from the shower or the just the sound of running water;
the minty scent of my shampoo or the milky feel of my soap;
the soft silky feeling of my new shirt or the feel of my cold hair on my face?

Is it the empty living room?
Or the dining room where there's nothing available for breakfast?
Perhaps it's when nobody's there to say goodbye before you leave for work...

Is it cold?
Or is it just me?
Is it the things that surround me?
Or the things that are not around...

...that make me miss home more than ever.